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by EnoKureno
Summary: An eleven-year old collapses during school. Chase, Cameron, and Foreman can't agree, and House is too busy arguing with Wilson to care. With nothing going right for anyone, how can they all make peace and save the child's life? Hilson, Slash, Language
1. Prologue: Shocks

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A House MD Fanfic

Rating: T

Warnings: Slash, Sick Child, Spoilers, AU? Season 4 never happened, Foreman, Cameron, and Chase are still working for House, Language

Pairings: House/Wilson, others may follow

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**Disclaimer**: I do not now nor will I ever own the wondrous possession known as House. It belongs to whomever it belongs to. I do own Dakota and Alice. I also own this plot.

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**Author's Note**: Hey everybody, EnoKureno is back in business! I've posted the odd fic here and there, but generally I've been in hiding. School was rough, but it's over, mostly. I still have few kinks to work out. One of my teachers messed up my grade, so I'm working with him to fix it. So, during the period of time that I was MIA from FF, I gained a love for House, especially Hilson. I love Hugh Laurie (anyone seen Blackadder or Jeeves and Wooster? He's genius in them) and I love Robert Sean Leonard (Dead Poets Society made me cry). So I decided, for my next big story, I would do a full length Hilson fanfic.

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_Prologue_

Giggles and whispers echoed around the classroom as all of the sixth-graders huddled around a handsome, dark haired boy's desk, admiring his new Shocker Pen. When a button was pressed, the end of the pen gave a sharp zap to whoever was touching it. The teacher dozed at her desk, unaware of the goings on. It was her lunch break and she had been kept awake all night by her new baby. She didn't think the students would get into too much trouble, they were only eleven. As the pen was passed around the circle, one girl refused to try it, backing away from her friend as she was attempted to shock her.

"Come on, Kota. It's fun, it doesn't hurt that much!"

With that said, her friend pressed the tip to the girl's palm, expecting her to jump or squeal like the rest. All she got was a look of confusion, then horror, which turned to a wild panic.

"Alice, I can't feel it. I can't feel my arm!"

The other kids in the circle pressed forward, clamoring for a look at the panicking girl. She felt them closing in, then, all of a sudden, nothing. Blackness took over.

The teacher awoke as her pupils started screaming, leaping to her feet with the grace of a one-legged platypus in the mud. A chill took over her when she saw one of her students, Dakota Rayne, seizing on the floor, as the others looked on.

"Get the nurse, somebody get the goddamned nurse!" The teacher shrieked, pushing though the crowd to reach the girl. Alice, tears streaming down her face, fled outside and down the hall, reaching the nurse's office within minutes.

"Nurse Walters! Nurse Walters! You gotta come quick! Kota's dying!"


	2. Poetry in Motion

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A House MD Fanfic

Rating: T

Warnings: Slash, Sick Child, Spoilers, AU? Season 4 never happened, Foreman, Cameron, and Chase are still working for House

Pairings: House/Wilson, Chase/Cameron, others may follow

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**Disclaimer**: I do not now nor will I ever own the wondrous possession known as House. It belongs to whomever it belongs to. I do not own the New York Times. I do own Dakota and Alice. I also own this plot.

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**Author's Note**: Onto chapter one! Woohoo!

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_Chapter One_

"The Healer with his magic powers,  
I could rub his gentle brow for hours,  
His manly chest, his stubbled jaw,  
Everything about him leaves me raw - with joy.

Oh, House, your very name,  
Will never leave this girl the same."

James Wilson wiped tears from his eyes, reading this never got old. The poem was written by an eighty-two year old ex-patient of House's, obviously a confused old woman. He knew House was sick of hearing this, but in his opinion, you can never have too much of a good thing.

"Reading that crap, again?" Long fingers ripped the page from his grasp, it didn't matter, he had memorized it, however, it was a rude thing to do, not that House cared.

"I still say it's amazing for an eighty-two year old." He turned to face the bright blue eyes of his best friend, quirking a grin as he grabbed at the paper. It twitched just out of his reach, causing him to stumble forward slightly. He tried again, to the same end.

"The Healer with his magic powers," He called out, reciting the poetry for everyone in the clinic. "I could rub his --" A cane slammed into his shin, causing him to ditch the effort in order to cling to his leg, moaning in pain. Oh god, that stung.

"If you try that again, they'll all know that you paint your toenails." House leaned back supporting his weight on his cane, smirking as people gave Wilson disgusted looks and moved towards the exits. "Oops, guess they know anyway."

"You devilish bastard. You knew they'd leave, didn't you? This was all some ploy to escape a few hours of clinic duty. God, Cuddy's going to kill you." The smirk confirmed it as House limped towards the nearest exam room. The smirk disappeared when he found two people had beat him there.

"Oh. My. God."

Flustered, the couple pulled away from each other, flushed with shame and the last tinges of excitement. Chase fixed his labcoat as Cameron rebuttoned her blouse.

"I'd say you two need to get a room, but I guess you failed at that already."

Chase coughed, embarrassed, and Cameron fled the scene, forgetting her coat on the examination table. House reached his cane out, lifting the jacket up and tossing it at the blonde doctor.

"Shoo, she'll need this. We have a case."


	3. Coffee Addicts Anonymous

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A House MD Fanfic

Rating: T

Warnings: Slash, Sick Child, Spoilers, AU? Season 4 never happened, Foreman, Cameron, and Chase are still working for House

Pairings: House/Wilson, others may follow

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**Disclaimer**: I do not now nor will I ever own the wondrous possession known as House. It belongs to whomever it belongs to. I do not own the New York Times. I do own Dakota and Alice. I also own this plot.

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**Author's Note**: Woohoo! Three whole reviews all of my own. Of course, this small victory is overshadowed by a great sadness. I had many of my readers favorite or add alerts for my story, but only 3 of you reviewed. It breaks my heart, but I will keep writing in hopes that more of you will give me some constructive criticism. I need it to survive, and when I get reviews, it makes me want to update…

To **BandGeek58407**, **BertieTiger**, and my new, anonymous friend, **Suann**, thank you for reviewing. I love you, seriously, I do.

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_Chapter Two_

Eric Foreman sat dozing in one of the rather comfortable chairs in the diagnostic department's office. Snoring softly, his head fell forward, resting on his chest. A late night out with his girlfriend had robbed him of the sleep needed to perform up to House's standards, so he was taking a nap while waiting for the others to come back. Chase and Cameron had gone off to do god only knows what and House went to bug Wilson and avoid clinic duty.

The door flew open with a bang as Dr. Cameron ran in, taking a seat next to him and straightened her ruffled clothes. Foreman cracked open an eye, decided it wasn't worth it, and went back to sleep. He feigned sleep for a few more seconds, before realizing something was weird.

"Where's your labcoat?"

She looked confused before glancing down and seeing it was the truth. She was dressed only in a wrinkled blouse and a black pants with an undone belt. She quickly refastened her belt and ran out of the room again, to get her coat. Foreman blinked and went back to his nap.

"Have you seen Cameron?"

Chase stuck his head through the door, glancing around, but not seeing his girlfriend. Foreman shook his head, not bothering to open his eyes. He was so tired.

"Well, look at the Sleeping Beauty, late night out with the girls?"

House's obnoxious voice broke through his snoozing and he opened his eyes slowly, rubbing sleep from them. He yawned, and sat up.

"It's alive!"

"Shut up, House."

He yawned again, standing up and getting himself a cup of coffee. It was bad, but it felt, oh, so good running through his veins. Caffeine is god. He helped himself to another mug, before returning to his seat.

"Do we have an actual case today, or more 'research'."

"You'll find out when the other ducklings come home."

They sat in a relative silence until Chase and Cameron, who had gotten her labcoat from the blonde doctor, returned. When everyone was sitting down around the glass-topped table, House cleared his throat, standing up and holding his arms out, theatrically.

"Welcome to the first annual Princeton-Plainsboro Coffee Addicts Anonymous. My name is Dr. Gregory House and I am here to help you."

Blank stares greeted this announcement, but Foreman's fingers tightened subconsciously around his coffee mug. They'd never take him alive.

"Tough crowd tonight, eh, alright then. How's this for fun? Cuddy herself has forced another boring case upon us. Eleven-year old girl presents with numbness and seizures. Later, she develops a fever and headaches. Differential?"

"The seizures, headaches, and numbness point to something neurological. Any history of epilepsy?" asked Foreman, still unconsciously clinging to his coffee cup.

"Absolutely no idea. Foreman, get a medical history when we're done. Anyone else?" House stared pointedly at Chase, who was staring at Cameron, eyes glazed. He came out of it and looked back at House, asking,

"Where was the numbness localized?"

"Left arm and shoulder."

"Left side points to a heart condition, could be some sort of defect?" Cameron piped up,

"Heart defect causes reduced blood flow to the brain and causes a seizure. I like it."

Foreman cleared his throat, "It doesn't explain the fever."

"She could have easily picked up a bug from the hospital," Chase stuck up for his girlfriend.

"Break it up, you two. Cameron, echo her heart to look for structural abnormalities, and Chase, check her white blood cell count; an infection would send it through the roof. Anything else?"

When no one answered, House turned around and limped out the door. Nobody moved. He came back, incredulous.

"Did I say sit on your asses for a few hours? Go, do."

He gestured towards the door, and limped over to his office, grabbing his giant tennis ball. He had every intention of sitting on his ass for a few hours.


	4. Sleeping With Pests

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A House MD Fanfic

Rating: T

Warnings: Slash, Sick Child, Spoilers, AU? Season 4 never happened, Foreman, Cameron, and Chase are still working for House

Pairings: House/Wilson, Chase/Cameron, others may follow

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**Disclaimer**: I do not now nor will I ever own the wondrous possession known as House. It belongs to whomever it belongs to. I do not own the New York Times. I do own Dakota and Alice. I also own this plot.

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**Author's Note**: Wow, I got another review soon after I posted Chapter 2. Thank you kindly, BandGeek58407. I was in the middle of this chapter, and it made me happier than you'll ever know.

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_Chapter Three_

Dakota Rayne looked up as a troupe of doctors walked into her hospital room. A tall, rather handsome, she giggled to herself, blonde man, an exhausted looking man with dark skin, and a pretty brunette with messy clothes peeking out from under her lab coat.

"Good morning, Dakota. My name is Dr. Chase, and these are Doctors Foreman and Cameron." The cute doctor gestured to his fellows. She nodded and smiled at each, as he spoke again.

"Are your parents around? I need to draw some blood, Dr. Cameron needs to check your heart, and Foreman needs to speak with them."

"You mean him, not them, Mom's dead, and Dad's at work, he's a very busy man."

"Didn't he come visit you?" The pretty lady doctor asked, looking concerned.

"He came for an hour to make sure I was settled in, but he was in an important meeting and he couldn't miss it." She didn't mention that he hadn't seen her since yesterday, it wasn't any of their business.

"Well, we need his signature on a few papers, but --"

The blonde doctor was cut off as the door slid open and a harrassed-looking, graying man bustled in.

"Daddy!"

"Hello, Kota-Coyote." He gave his daughter a peck on the top of her head, ruffling the dark curls. "And who might you guys be?"

"I'm Dr. Chase, this is Dr. Foreman, and this is Dr. Cameron."

"Jorge, Pleasure's all mine. How can I help you?"

"We need you to sign off on some tests, completely harmless, I assure you." Chase held out the clipboard to the man, who, after skimming the page, signed with an elegant cursive scrawl.

Foreman spoke up, "And I need to speak with you about your, and your daughter's, family medical history. Is there any history of epilepsy?"

"Yes, she had it when she was little, but she hasn't had a seizure in years, apart from yesterday."

"Any family history of cancer, hereditary diseases, or anything else?"

"Yes, Haruhi, her mother, passed away from brain cancer. Her side of the family had a history of cancer and heart problems. And my family has a history of diabetes, but I can't think of anything else."

"Haruhi? What an interesting name." Dr. Cameron remarked as she wheeled in the echocardiogram** (1)**.

"Yes, she was half-Japanese American, and half-Nigerian. And since I'm Spanish-Irish, holidays are like the UN."

This explained the girl's unique features. Long, curly black hair with dyed, purple highights, dark-tan skin, wide, almond-shaped blue eyes, shiny white teeth, and freckles. She could have been a model if she wasn't overweight. Like most of America, she probably snacked on fatty foods and soda.

"This will only hurt a little, it'll be over before you know it."

Chase had been busy wrapping a disposable, plastic tourniquet around Dakota's arm. He pinched the crook of her arm between his fingertips and slid a needle into the vein there. He filled two vials with blood, and placed a red crayon bandaid on the bloody pinpoint.

"That wasn't so bad," she said, smiling at blonde doctor.

Back at the office, House was perusing the adult entertainment ads in the back of the newspaper. When Wilson walked in, he began reading them aloud.

"Sexy Local Singles, call now for 99 cents a minute. Hot Chicks With Guns, order your copy of this video today. Lesbian Singles Night at Lucky's Bar, with Free Lap Dances and Live Nud--" **(2)**

"You really are shameless."

"Through and through."

"You say it as if it's a good thing." Wilson flopped down in the chair opposite House, putting his feet up on his best friend's desk. The friend in question returned his attention to the advertisements.

"Can I stay at your place for a week? My hotel is getting exterminated for termites and cockroaches."

House looked up at him, quirking a smile. "Only if you don't mind the couch, it's too soon in our relationship to sleep together. Let's take it slow."

"Trust me, I had enough of sleeping with pests at the hotel. A couch would be a blessing." Wilson didn't miss a beat.

"And you have to do the dishes. Every night."

"Deal."

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**(1)** Echocardiogram - in laymen's terms, I'd call it an ultrasound for hearts. It's a much better alternative to exploratory heart surgery.

**(2)** Word for word for the adult entertainment ads in my newspaper. I grabbed it and typed them out. I actually did what House does, I read them aloud to my father while we were driving to Chicago last week. He laughed until he cried. :)


	5. Third Time's the Charm

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A House MD Fanfic  
Rating: T  
Warnings: Slash, Sick Child, Spoilers, AU? Season 4 never happened, Foreman, Cameron, and Chase are still working for House  
Pairings: House/Wilson, Chase/Cameron, others may follow

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**Disclaimer**: I do not now nor will I ever own the wondrous possession known as House. It belongs to whomever it belongs to. I do not own the New York Times. I do own Dakota, Jorge, Haruhi, and Alice. I also own this plot.

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**Author's Note**: Thank you so much to my wonderful reviewers. I know 4 reviews may seem small in the long run, but these four people, **BandGeek58407** (TWO REVIEWS IN A DAY, I LOVE YOU!), **BertieTiger**, my anonymous friend, **Suann aka Micetea**, and a new face, **HaloGurl10**, have made my day.

And the answer to BandGeek's question is.... WAIT AND SEE [:

I want to start another (infamous) fanfic game, like my Batman Begins/Dark Knight fic, _Why So Serious?._ My reviewers and I had a lot of fun with this. Hope you will too, and if you don't, I can alway stop updating....

**_What's That Phobia?_** (fairly self explanitory, guess what the phobia is, add your answer to your review, give me a phobia to figure out, and I'll add my answers and the results to the next chapter. Have Fun!)

**Phobia of the Day**: _Ereuthophobia_!

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_Chapter Four_

The ducklings gathered around the table in the office, reading the results of the blood tests. The echocardiogram had been negative for heart defects, there was a slim chance it didn't show up, but they had a new problem to worry about.

House gimped into the room and was met by a flood of symptoms, ideas, and diagnoses.

"House, she developed a rash and the lymph nodes in her throat are swollen." Cameron spoke, worriedly.

Foreman added, "And her father confirmed she has epilepsy, this is just is epileptic little girl who isn't taking her meds anymore and caught a cold."

"Start her on broadspectrum antibiotics, and tell 'Daddy' to keep his little princess on her meds, or she'll be back here in worse shape then she arrived in." **(1)**

"It can't be an infection," Chase put his two-bits in, "her white blood cell count is low."

"Run it again. Maybe you messed up the tests." said House.

"I ran them twice!"

"Third time's the charm."

Chase glowered at his boss, glancing down at the results in his hands, "Her blood sugar levels are through the roof."

"And?"

"Diabetes. It explains everything, seizures, numbness, fever, rash, sore throat, headaches, everything. Even the low white blood cell count."

"Run an immunoassay, but start Princess on antibiotics just in case." **(2)**

The team stared at him for a second, before standing and exiting the room. House watched them walk down the hall, until he couldn't see them anymore. Swiveling, he limped back into his office where his adult entertainment ads were waiting.

_Meanwhile, the ducklings were with Dakota._

"Hello again." She smiled up at them, giving a cheery wave, that only the pretty lady doctor returned. The African American doctor was practically asleep on his feet, and the cute blonde was sulking.

"Hello Dakota, we need to draw some more blood, alright? Is your father here?" The dark-haired lady asked, looking around.

"It's fine, and Daddy will be back tomorrow, he had to fly to Los Angeles for a meeting, but you can call my Grandma if you need an adult."

"Los Angeles? But you're in the hospital!"

"It's not the first time, he was gone a lot when Mom was sick, too. He's really busy, and his boss is a meanie."

Cameron just pursed her lips, a fretful expression on her face.

"Cameron, we need to draw blood." The handsome doctor with fair hair stepped forward, gesturing to the syringe in the lady doctor's hands. She moved over the bed and Dakota held up her arm expectantly. The rubber tourniquet was tied to her upper arm once more, and the pretty lady moved to slid the needle in the vein. As she did, Dakota's face contorted in pain,

"Oh god, it hurts."

The needle was pulled out, and the other two doctors moved closer.

"What hurts, Dakota?"

"Down there, it hurts down there." She blushed as she winced, gesturing towards her lower body. The lady doctor pulled the sheet back to reveal bloody sheets.

"Oh my god."

**(1)** Broadspectrum Antibiotics - basically medicine that treats most basic infections, sometimes doctors need stronger antibiotics that are meant for certain diseases, but usually these work best.

**(2)** Immunoassay - a test using urine that measures the amount of a chemical a person has in them, in this case insulin, or A1C, a chemical used to determine blood sugar levels.


	6. The Birds and The Bees

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A **House MD** Fanfic

**Rating**: T

**Warnings**: Slash, Sick Child, Spoilers, AU? Season 4 never happened, Foreman, Cameron, and Chase are still working for House

**Pairings**: House/Wilson, Chase/Cameron, others may follow

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**Disclaimer**: I do not now nor will I ever own the wondrous possession known as House. It belongs to whomever it belongs to. I do not own the New York Times. I do own Dakota, Jorge, Haruhi, Nurse Walters, Mr. Haddox, and Alice. I also own this plot. I don't own Bohemian Rhapsody.

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**Author's Note**: I'm so sorry for the late update, I was busy with the 4th of July and all. I hope my American readers/reviewers had a wonderful holiday, and my international friends just had a great weekend. It was beautiful weather here, hope it was the same for you.

I was so excited to come home and see five reviews sitting in my inbox. I felt loved. Muchos gracias to **Foolish Mortal**, **ShadowCatcher**, **Halogurl10**, **Bertie Tiger** (I'm glad this makes you happy), and my (lucky number) 13th reviewer, **Anonymous**. I am going to call you **My Secret Friend** seeing as I have no name to refer to you as.

**My Secret Friend**, I do indeed have Dakota's illness planned out. I picked a symptom out of a hat, googled it, found a bunch of diseases with the symptom, narrowed it down to a handful of diseases (rare and common) with similar symptoms, and started my story (WebMD is GOD).

And **Halogurl10** had a point I wanted to mention as well, she said diabetes seemed like a simple diagnosis (one in 17 Americans has it, it's pretty common), and in most cases it is. However, there are genetic defects that cause diabetes that are more difficult to test for and diagnose. I recently read an article on it (on the Harvard Science website, check it out, it's awesome) and simply had to throw in the possibility. I know, I know, total geek, but I love me anyways.

**_Phobias!_** (and yes, you can look it up if you want to)

_Hematophobia_ - Fear of Blood  
_Catoptrophobia_ - Fear of Mirrors  
_Oikophobia/Domatophobia_ - Fear of the Home

And yes, you all got it right, _Ereuthophobia_ is the fear of blushing. Good job!

**Phobia of the Day**: _Pteronophobia_ (I love this one)

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_Chapter Five_

House glanced both ways, wary of the she-demon (also known as Cuddy) who was out for his blood. He knew clearing out the clinic by revealing the old Wilson's-drunken-nail-polish-dare story was a little much, but hey, he didn't feel like dealing with the over-protective parents and their annoying, snotty brats. He could handle his ducklings' childish antics, but not others'. He hated kids. He reached his destination, barging in without knocking as usual.

"House!"

"Morning Starshine, the Earth says Hello!"

Wilson pretended to glower at him, not pulling it off since he wasn't really mad. House flopped on the couch, carefully landing so his leg was propped up. He closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his scruffy locks.

"What would you do if I had a patient with me? Would you still invade my office and takeover?"

"Yep, I know your schedule, and you don't have any patients until 1:30, with Mr. Haddox. Brain Cancer. Nasty stuff."

"You looked up my appointments!" Wilson didn't have to pretend when the look of indignation spread across his face. He gave an angry huff to the figure on his sofa, crossing his arms.

"Of course, the nurses tell me anything when I say 'pretty please'." Smirking, House opened his eyes and winked at his best friend, whose glare never faltered.

"This is supposed to be classified! Mr. Haddox's privacy is invaded, and frankly, so is mine. You had no right to--"

"Check up on you? C'mon, what's an appointment time between friends? I need to know when I can drag you out to spring for my snacks."

"House, please." Wilson sighed, brushing his bangs from his eyes. "It's the principle of the thing. If the nurses went about telling my schedule to everyone who asked, I'd have a serious problem on my hand."

"Good thing I'm the only one who gets answers. The nurses have explicit instructions to inform only me of your engagments. It won't be an epidemic, I promise. Now, let's get lunch, I want my french fries."

"I can't right now, House, unlike you, some of us have to do our own paperwork. Imagine the concept."

House slowly, painfully got to his feet, and walked to the desk. He leaned close to Wilson's face, causing the younger doctor to shrink back, nervous and confused, but House still moved closer.

"You sure?"

"Uh...Uh-huh." Wilson's mouth went dry as he stared into House's intense, blue eyes.

"Alright then."

House reached over and plucked the oncologist's wallet from the front pocket of his labcoat. Walking away, whistling Bohemian Rhapsody, he left Wilson sitting in his office, confused about what had just happened.

After a delicious lunch consisting of a cold Reuben without pickles and extra fries, House made his sneaky way back to his office, skillfully avoiding the Dean of Medicine on his journey.

"House!" Cameron stood as he walked in, "We have a....problem..."

Oh goody.

"Dakota started..."

House blinked, not what he expected. "Started?"

"Started, like, her period?"

"Oh, _'that'_ started. Well, give her clean panties and some pads, not that hard."

Stopping and glancing around awkwardly, Cameron stopped, looking down. Chase, realising his girlfriend was having trouble, spoke up,

"It's not so simple. It turns out Mr. Rayne hasn't explained the birds and bees to her. So she has no clue what's going on and we don't really have the right to tell her without his consent."

"You don't need parental permission to tell her." House scoffed, rolling his eyes and taking a seat.

"It's the moral of the thing, House." Foreman said, "It's his right as her dad to tell her."

"And it's her right as a new woman to know why she's bleeding from her 'special area'. Cameron, give Princess 'the talk', and we'll deal with Daddy later. Now, do you have my results?"

Chase glanced at his papers, crinkling his nose in confusion, "Her white blood cell count is normal now, so is her blood sugar level. I don't know what happened."

"Told you third time's the charm."

"No! If it was a genetic defect that caused her diabetes, her blood sugar levels could still be normal. The tissues in her body just couldn't absorb the insulin properly, sort of an autoimmune form of diabetes." **(1)**

"As genius as you think the idea is, I think we need more differentials. Go."

The ducklings glanced at one another, Foreman thought for a second,

"Parsonage Turner? She's epileptic and if you take out the seizures, it can be caused by an infection. Her white blood cell count is rising." **(2)**

"I like it, keep an eye on her white blood cell count, I want to know right away when it gets high enough to be an infection. What else?"

"Lupus." Cameron added, "Seizures, rash, fevers, numbness, explains everything."

House shook his head, "It's never Lupus." **(3)**

"Females are eight times more likely to have it, and symptoms start with menstruation. Not usually this severe, but it could happen."

"Fine, test her ESR and CRP. Anything else?" **(4)**

Judging by the blank stares his ducklings gave him, he took it to be a no and walked over to his office. He sat in his oh-so-comfy-swival-chair and spun around, dramatically, waving goodbye to his team.

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**(1)** _Autoimmune _- in an autoimmune disorder (like lupus), the immune system cannot tell the difference between foreign substances and its own cells and tissues. The immune system then makes antibodies directed against itself. These antibodies -- called "auto-antibodies" (auto means 'self') -- cause inflammation, pain and damage in various parts of the body.

**(2)** _Parsonage Turner Syndrome_ - Paralysis in the arms and shoulders, can be caused by infections, childbirth, surgery, and more (even babies get this).

**(3)** _Lupus_ - an autoimmune disease that can affect various parts of the body, including the skin, joints, heart, lungs, blood, kidneys and brain. Normally the body's immune system makes proteins called antibodies, to protect the body against viruses, bacteria, and other foreign materials. These foreign materials are called antigens.

**(4)** _ESR_ (sedimentation rate) and _CRP_ (C-reactive protein) - two proteins affected by lupus. Testing the health of these helps doctors diagnose lupus, but they aren't a definite answer.

**Fun Notes**: Those figures about diabetes and lupus are correct, 1 in 17 Americans has diabetes and women are eight times more likely than men to have lupus. My definitions for Autoimmune, Lupus, and ESR and CRP are paraphrased from the Lupus Association's website, I don't own them. I actually just knew Parsonage Turner offhand... how sad is that?


	7. Finders, Keepers

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A **House MD** Fanfic  
**Rating**: T  
**Warnings**: Slash, Sick Child, Spoilers, AU? Season 4 never happened, Foreman, Cameron, and Chase are still working for House  
**Pairings**: House/Wilson, Chase/Cameron, others may follow

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**Disclaimer**: I do not now nor will I ever own the wondrous possession known as House. It belongs to whomever it belongs to. I do not own the New York Times. I do own Dakota, Jorge, Haruhi, Nurse Walters, Mr. Haddox, Grandma Rayne, Auntie Myra, and Alice. I also own this plot. I don't own Bohemian Rhapsody. I don't own Smithsonian Magazine or its articles.

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**Author's Note**: Wow, I'm so wiped, I feel like a kitchen counter. I just spent the last two sleepless days at my friend CCJJ's house watching her set of Gilligan's Island dvds. They didn't have any vegetarian food, so I lived on bad coffee and two strawberry marshmellows we found. But lordie, did I ever have a jolly good time. I don't have TV, so I loved every exhausted second of it. We also watched some of the Jackson Memorial, wowzers. Poor kids, I thought Prince Michael the First wanted to say something when they were onstage, but the family pushed Paris forward. And now, she's all over the news, not what MJ wanted.

Thanks for my reviewers, **Micetea** (totally agree, but it's a necessary plot device), **Harpyquin** (suh-weet name), **Foolish Mortal** (thank you so much, I really hate using pronouns with slash couples, it s all he did this to him, and confusing. I tried to work on it in this chapter), **Kaname Natsumi**, **BertieTiger** (honestly, so did I), and **Houkanno Yuuhou**.

**_Phobias!_** (my two guessers were correct, Pteronophobia is the fear of being tickled by feathers)

_Allodoxaphobia_ - fear of opinions (my dad used to joke Sarah Palin had this)  
_Menophobia_ - fear of menopause

What is _**Phagophobia**_? (love the name)

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_Chapter Six_

Chase sighed in relief as he saw there was just enough blood left from Dakota's last sample to do the CRP and ESR tests without drawing more. The girl was feeling bad enough (and fairly disgusted) now that she knew the facts of life. Foreman and Cameron stayed in her room and were waiting for Mr. Rayne to return. Grandma Rayne had had a bingo game, but Auntie Myra had stopped in to cover for her. She promptly went to the window and despite protests, lit up her cigarette, barely noticing the ill child in the bed. Cameron's lips got thin and her brow furrowed when she saw this behavior. Dakota didn't even seem to care and kept her gaze on her kneecaps.

Meanwhile, Wilson finished his paperwork (finally) and carefully avoided House on his way up to Dr. Cuddy's office. Checking to make sure she was alone, he slid in and threw himself face first on her couch. She didn't even blink and continued signing off papers.

"It happened again, Lisa." Of course, this mumbled statement into the cushions came out more like "Hft kpnmed eggianlizzars."

"Wonderful." She had no clue what he had said, so she gave him a weird look, shook her head, and kept on signing off. The limp figure on her sofa lazily raised his face, stopping his own attempts to commit suicide via suffocation.

"I said 'It happened again.'"

"Didn't sound like it."

"I just don't know what to do. I- I freeze, it's those eyes." Wilson grasped at his hair with shaking fingers, sinking back into the pillows.

"Oh, man up, you've been best friends since college. The only thing that's changed is the depth of your feelings and his hairline."

"Hey!" His head popped back up from the couch. Cuddy sighed, and put down her pen.

"What happened, James?"

"Well, he barged into my office again and told me he needed me to pay for his lunch, and I had to decline due to my paperwork," his boss gave an approving nod at this, "and next thing I know he's leaning close to me and whispering in my ear. I froze, again, and then he- then he-"

"He what?"

"He stole my wallet."

Cuddy's face met her palm with a satisfying smack. Wilson's face met the cushions and stayed.

"And you let this happen?"

"I couldn't say no."

"Then stop complaining." Cuddy slammed her palms on her desk, causing a small, paper avalance to occur. "You come in here almost everyday moaning about how House takes advantage of your little 'man crush', so either learn to say no, or tell him the truth!"

"I can't!" Aghast, he leapt from the couch.

"You can, too."

"Do you know how hard it was to become friends? House trusts me, and I can't tell him, I can't break that trust."

"But you can break yourself, have you looked in a mirror lately? You have bags under your eyes, you're paler than a ghost, and your hair's a mess. Have you even slept recently?"

"Of course I've slept! But all I see are those eyes and I have to wake up."

"It'll only get worse until you tell him or you kill yourself with this stupid secrecy."

Wilson sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Oh god, I'm going to be living with him for the week."

"The whole pest control deal?"

"Yeah. How am I going to survive this, Lisa?"

"Tell him, so you can get this off your chest. If he kicks you out, you can stay with me."

"Thanks, but no thanks."

"Then get out of my office, I have a feeling a certain blue-eyed diagnostician is looking for you."

"What gives you that idea?"

"The fact that he's walking this way. He must really love you if he's willing to brave my fury to see you."

"You--"

"Am I interrupting something?" House cut in, leaning against the office door.

"Not at all." Wilson licked his lips and sat back down.

"Yes, and you should be in the clinic right now. Don't think I didn't hear about you telling the patients about that Christmas party where Wilson--"

"Lisa!"

"Fine, but still, an extra two hours, House."

He gave a dramatic sigh, "The horror!"

"Now, take Wilson and get out. And get him something to eat, I think he's been ignoring food."

"I have no--"

"Righty-oh, then." interrupted House, grabbing his friend's elbow and 'carefully' dragging him out the door. The pair made their way to the cafeteria, House grabbing an apple as Wilson chose a salad and a brownie. They reached the cashier, and Wilson reached automatically into his pocket to pay.

"You still have my wallet!" His friend shrugged, pulling the possession in question from his jacket and forking over the cash. He continued to their usual place, Wilson in tow with their food, and set the wallet on the table. Snatching it up, the younger doctor replaced it in his pocket and sat down with him.

"So, I'll bring my stuff over tonight?"

"Hmm?"

"My stuff, I'll bring it to your apartment tonight."

"As you will." He mock-saluted, before bringing his apple to his mouth and taking a crunchy bite. He didn't fail to notice Wilson's eyes following the apple's path and lingering on his lips. He smirked from behind the fruit.

"Thanks... again."

"What kind of awful person would I be if I let my best friend sleep on the streets?"

The friend in question rolled his eyes, chuckling as he dug into his salad. The brownie lay in the corner of the tray, begging to be stolen (even if he had polished off a sandwich and fries only an hour ago, and was eating an apple now). He reached out, plucking it with ease from the tray.

"House!"

"My brownie now, finders, keepers." Wilson reached for the sweet from across the table and missed. "Losers, weepers."

"House, I was going to eat that."

"I know, but I think you got this with me in mind. You don't like walnuts."

"Ah--" Wilson blushed, not realising how cute he looked with his nose scrunched up in indignation. House unwrapped the dessert and took a bite.

"Yummy."

"Alright, so I did get it for you, but still..." House shrugged, then closed his eyes and grabbed a napkin, spitting the half-chewed brownie into it.

"Yuck."

"What's wrong with it?"

"It's half-cooked, still runny."

"It didn't look undercooked."

"Well, it is." He thrust the brownie back onto the tray in disgust. Wilson looked down at his salad, shook his head, and pushed the tray away. He'd eat later.

"Well, this lunch sucked."

"Linner." he gave Wilson a weird look at this statement, "Linner, the meal between lunch and dinner. It's three o'clock."

"As fascinating as that is, I have an apple to devour." He returned to his fruit with vigor, savoring the flavor. His smirk returned when he saw his friend was once again focused on his lips. "Am I that sexy?"

"What?" He was greeted by a blank look as Wilson came out of his daze.

"Am I that sexy? You keep staring at me."

"I do not."

"You do so."

"I do not, House, you're being ridiculous. Even for you."

"Does Jimmy have a man-crush on little ol' me?"

He was rewarded with another blush, "Shut up, House."

"Well? Is there a better topic of conversation than me?"

"Yes, there is. Why, I was just reading in Smithsonian about a breakthough in oncology. They think they've discovered the genes for supressing cancer; they're called microRNAs, it's fantastic news--"

"That will put you out of business." House interrupted,

"I can find a new field to work in. I bet the radiologists are hiring. Or maybe the--"

"Gynocologists?"

"Shut up, as I was saying, I can work elsewhere. Maybe I can be a cafeteria worker, so they won't undercook their brownies."

"Yeah, they'll burn 'em instead."

"Or I can be the sexy janitor, like on TV. Have all the girls clamoring for--"

"A carpet rinse?" House gave a lewd grin to his friend, "Maybe I should be a janitor."

"House, is that all you think about?"

"Janitors? Nope. Sometimes I think of maids, gardeners, and even lifeguards on occaison." Wilson shook his head, standing up and taking the tray with him. "Aren't you going to eat your salad?"

"I don't think so, I'm not hungry."

"Jimmy, you're skin and bones. You need to eat something."

"I'm not hungry, House. Want me to take your apple core, too?" The core hit the tray with a dull clunk, and he walked away, throwing the nearly uneaten food in the rubbish bin and placing the tray on the rack. He didn't see the look of concern House shot at his back, as it dissappeared when he turned around and returned to the table.

"Let's go to my office, it's time for Prescription: Passion."

"Okay, House."

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**Author's Note**: Nothing medically relevant this chapter, but I promise some soon. Hope I wasn't too ooc with the characters.


	8. Stray Tennis Balls

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A **House MD** Fanfic

**Rating**: T

**Warnings**: Slash, Sick Child, Spoilers, AU? Season 4 never happened, Foreman, Cameron, and Chase are still working for House

**Pairings**: House/Wilson, Chase/Cameron, others may follow

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**Disclaimer**: I do not now nor will I ever own the wondrous possession known as House. It belongs to whomever it belongs to. I do not own the New York Times. I do own Dakota, Jorge, Haruhi, Nurse Walters, Mr. Haddox, Grandma Rayne, Auntie Myra, and Alice. I also own this plot. I don't own Bohemian Rhapsody. I don't own Smithsonian or its articles. I don't own Those Were The Days.

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**Author's Note**: Hey, loves! Hope you haven't all given up on me. That would totally suck. A foreign concept (at least to me) entered my life last week. It's called work. I'm a volunteer at the downtown library. It's funnish, and I encourage you all to try it.

**PS**: Did anyone like my carpet rinse joke? I thought it was funny...

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**Le _Phobias_ Galore!**

_**Cibophobia**_ - fear of food

And yes, _Phagophobia_ (although it sounds like a fear of fags) is the fear of swallowing, eating, and/or being eaten. I mean, who isn't afraid of being eaten? Lordie.

What is _**Rhypophobia**_?

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_Chapter Seven_

A few days had passed since Dakota starting her period and her doctors were stupefied. Foreman was systematically tapping the back of his head against the wall behind him. Cameron was biting the fingernail of her thumb as she stared, utterly bewildered at the test results. Chase was doing his ritualistic medical crossword, but the pen hadn't moved in half an hour. Cheerfully whistling Those Were The Days, their boss limped inside, throwing his bag on the table and sitting in his comfy chair.

"So, any news?"

"None at all, House." Chase replied, not looking up from his puzzle, "Every test is coming back normal, her A1C, ESR, CRP, white blood cell count, everything."

"And there's nothing that we can use in her history?"

"Nope."

"Great, so nothing's wrong with her except she's still sick."

Cameron glanced at him, "Maybe it was something caused by the hormones of starting her period."

"Doubtful. Her symptoms are too persistent."

House looked at his ducklings, his smirk melting into a frown as he saw their hopeless expressions.

"All right, full body scan."

"You hate those." Foreman sat up, cracking his neck painfully.

"Because ninety-nine percent of the time, you'll find some useless growth, and get into a wild goose chase that will only help kill the patient faster. It's been three days, and if you haven't solved it by now, we need to take drastic measures."

They rose, and headed off to do the exam. Dakota's father had gotten back, and although the birds and the bees talk annoyed him, he realised they had no choice. It didn't stop him from glowering at them everytime he saw them. The only good thing was that he'd taken the week off of work, so he could be with his daughter. Cameron couldn't stop smiling everytime they met, and wasn't even put off by his glares.

House switched offices, and grabbed his tennis ball. Playtime. Wilson had appointments back to back for the next few hours, so he couldn't intrude yet. Ah, Jimmy, it was a bittersweet mix of pleasure and agony having him live with him. He'd find himself waking up and just watching the younger doctor sleep (he drooled). Every little thing he discovered endeared James to him more and more. He knew he had seen him giving him sideways glances, and the oncologist took every opportunity to touch him. Brushing hands, pats on the back. It was almost sad how much they loved each other. But he could never accept him. James didn't deserve to take any more of House's bullshit and baggage then he already did. So, he would keep quiet for once, and just try to enjoy living with someone he wanted, but couldn't have. The tennis ball made an easy distraction from his thoughts as he tossed it against the glass in a cripple's game of squash.

"Hey, House."

Startled, he missed his target, the wall, and the ball hit his unexpected visitor dead on. They crumpled, clutching their nose in obvious pain.

"Wilson? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Appointment got rescheduled." He sat up, and practically crawled to the nearby chair. "Sweet Jesus. Were you trying to kill me?"

"Nah, just working my reflexes." See? He knew he'd end up hurting Wilson in the end. Maybe not this way, but still, it was an omen.

"I can see why. God, do you have an ice pack or something?" He nodded, grabbing one from the cooler under his desk; he kept some around for his leg. James leaned back, placing the cold pack on his throbbing nose, hissing in discomfort as it came in contact with the sensitive skin. House gimped over, pulling on his wrist to pull the ice pack off his face.

"Let me see it." Reluctantly, he removed the ice and let him inspect it. "You'll have a nice bruise, but it's not broken."

The ice was back instantly and his face slowly numbed. He opened his mouth to thank House, when the doors burst open and the ducklings flooded in.

"House! The patient's vomiting blood!"

He gave a small grin, "Interesting... do an endoscopy to find the source of the bleed."** (1)**

"Done, and it turns out she had an upper GI bleed." **(2)** Chase looked almost proud of announcing this. "We did an MRI of her stomach and found she had gallstones. They induced Hemosuccus pancreaticus and caused the hemorrhage."** (3)**

"Fat, Forty, Female, Fertile, and Fair. The five Fs. If I'm right, our patient has three of the five, which puts her at risk for gallstones."** (4)** House nodded as if the universe suddenly made sense, "Did the full body scan reveal anything?"

Foreman shook his head, "A few beign spots, but nothing that could cause the rest of her symptoms."

"Hmm..." House's look of triumph faded into a contemplative grimace. He hated not being able to solve his puzzles. His team turned to face Wilson, who was sitting resigned in his chair behind them, with the icepack on his nose. Cameron asked,

"What happened to you?"

"Stray tennis ball." Enough said. The ducklings nodded sympathetically, they could understand that. House made a shooing gesture,

"Go check her white blood cell count again. See if it's still fluctuating." His team nodded again, not so sympathetically, and filed out the door to do his bidding.

"Hmm..."

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**(1)** _Endoscopy_ - a test where the doctor threads a rubber tube inside you and views your insides with the camera attached to the end.

**(2)** _Upper GI Bleed_ - Upper gastrointestinal bleed, the upper GI tract consists of: your mouth, pharynx, stomach, esophagus, and duodenum (the first part of your small intestine) and when there is a hemorrhage in any of these places, it is called an Upper GI Bleed.

**(3)** _Hemosuccus pancreaticus_ - a rare cause of a hemorrhage in the gastrointestinal tract, the pancreas is inflamed (in this case by gallstones) and it bleeds. Other causes include pancreatic stones, cancer, a cyst, or any complication of acute or chronic pancreatitus (inflamation of the pancreas).

**(4)** _The Five Fs_ - **_Fat, Forty, Female, Fertile, and Fair._** This is a mneumonic device used by doctors to highlight the people most at risk for gallstones. People who are overweight, around forty, female, pre-menopausal, and Caucasian are most at risk.


End file.
